Q&A for How to Validate Someone's Feelings

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  • Question
    What is emotional validation?
    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
    Professional Counselor
    Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Wisconsin. She specializes in addictions, mental health problems, and trauma recovery. She has worked as a counselor in both community health settings and private practice. She also works as a writer and researcher, with education, experience, and compassion for people informing her research and writing subjects. She received Bachelor’s degrees in Communications and Psychology from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. She also earned an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University.
    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
    Professional Counselor
    Expert Answer
    Emotional validation is acknowledging and accepting emotions for what they are, understanding they occur in response to something and need to be expressed in healthy ways without judgment.
  • Question
    What does it mean to validate yourself?
    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
    Professional Counselor
    Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Wisconsin. She specializes in addictions, mental health problems, and trauma recovery. She has worked as a counselor in both community health settings and private practice. She also works as a writer and researcher, with education, experience, and compassion for people informing her research and writing subjects. She received Bachelor’s degrees in Communications and Psychology from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. She also earned an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University.
    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
    Professional Counselor
    Expert Answer
    To acknowledge and accept your thoughts, feelings, ideas, and experiences without judgment.
  • Question
    What does it mean to validate my feelings?
    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
    Professional Counselor
    Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Wisconsin. She specializes in addictions, mental health problems, and trauma recovery. She has worked as a counselor in both community health settings and private practice. She also works as a writer and researcher, with education, experience, and compassion for people informing her research and writing subjects. She received Bachelor’s degrees in Communications and Psychology from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. She also earned an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University.
    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
    Professional Counselor
    Expert Answer
    Validating your feelings mean you recognize that you have feelings, that your feelings are in response to something and that is okay. Then, you allow yourself to feel those feelings without judgment.
  • Question
    What does it mean to be validated by someone?
    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
    Professional Counselor
    Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Wisconsin. She specializes in addictions, mental health problems, and trauma recovery. She has worked as a counselor in both community health settings and private practice. She also works as a writer and researcher, with education, experience, and compassion for people informing her research and writing subjects. She received Bachelor’s degrees in Communications and Psychology from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. She also earned an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University.
    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
    Professional Counselor
    Expert Answer
    To have someone acknowledge and accept your thoughts, feelings, ideas, experiences without judgment or trying to change them.
  • Question
    My wife isn't the type of person to be supportive when I'm confessing some emotions. I want her to acknowledge them at least. What is a simple way for her to do this?
    Paul Chernyak, LPC
    Paul Chernyak, LPC
    Licensed Professional Counselor
    Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.
    Paul Chernyak, LPC
    Licensed Professional Counselor
    Expert Answer
    You can't make her do anything. You can only state how you feel and put yourself out there. Being vulnerable takes courage. She may not be open to being vulnerable at the moment. Consider that even if she does not acknowledge you, you at least had more courage than her to be genuine in the relationship.
  • Question
    My 14-year-old daughter will torment her sister, who is nine, to the point that she retaliates. This then escalates and 14-year-old says she's being bullied. She then says she's not being validated, but the 9-year-old was bullied. What do I do?
    Paul Chernyak, LPC
    Paul Chernyak, LPC
    Licensed Professional Counselor
    Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.
    Paul Chernyak, LPC
    Licensed Professional Counselor
    Expert Answer
    Consider trying to get your daughters to empathize with one another. You might ask them how they think it makes the other one feels when they each act a certain way. Then help them brainstorm ways that they can respond differently.
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