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If you want to have a good conversation, it’s important to show your respect and act genuinely interested no matter what someone tells you. Luckily, there are some pretty easy ways to actively listen and stay engaged. Whether you have some language or cultural differences, or just want to make it clear that you’re interested, we’ve got a ton of helpful tips on how to look and sound more involved in the conversation!

1

Face the person while they’re talking.

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  1. It might seem a little rude if you turn your back or shoulder to the person talking to you. Instead, sit or stand across from the person and face them directly so it’s easier to have a conversation. Maintain an open posture with your arms at your side rather than crossed in front of you, or else you might seem closed off.[1]
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2

Make eye contact.

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  1. Look the other person in the eyes so they know you’re paying attention to them. Try to focus on your conversation partner rather than getting distracted since they can easily see when you’re looking at the things happening around you.[2] [3]
    • Break eye contact a few times while you’re talking so you aren’t staring at them for a long time.
    • If you’re having trouble focusing, ask if you can continue the conversation somewhere that’s a little more quiet and private.
3

Lean in closer.

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  1. Try your best to avoid slouching or leaning back while someone’s talking since it might make you seem disinterested. Instead, try to get a bit closer to the person talking so they know that you’re listening. Just be sure to respect your conversation partner’s personal space so they don’t feel crowded or uneasy.[4]
    • If you know the person well, you could even reach over and lightly touch the person to connect with them more.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 6350 wikiHow readers about the biggest tells that someone doesn’t want to talk to you, and only 6% said having a distant body position. [Take Poll] So, it can be okay to keep a little distance, but definitely smile and make eye contact so people know you’re interested in them!
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7

Let them finish before talking.

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8

Paraphrase what they tell you.

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  1. When the person finishes talking, take a few seconds to collect your thoughts. Then, use your own words to summarize what they just said so they know that you were listening. Ask if you’re interpreting the conversation correctly so they have an opportunity to clarify or fill in any details that you missed.
    • For example, you could say something like, “Let me make sure I understand this,” or, “Is that what you’re saying?”
    • You could even frame your statement as a question. For example, if someone is talking about a promotion, you could say something like, “So how did you feel after you got the job offer?”
9

Ask follow-up questions.

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  1. Use open-ended questions that start with “how,” “what,” or “why” since they require more than one word to answer. As you learn more about the topic, try to ask more specific questions to help you understand the topic and feel more involved. Your conversation partner will really appreciate that you’re trying to learn more and staying engaged with them.[9]
    • For example, you could ask something like, “What happened after that?” or “How did that make you feel?”
    • Only ask 1 or 2 follow-up questions at a time that aren’t too personal.
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10

Raise the tone and pitch of your voice.

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  1. Using a flat, monotone voice when you talk might make you sound bored, and that could really hurt your conversation partner’s feelings. Try raising the tone of your voice or speaking a little louder so you sound more passionate about the topic you’re discussing.[10]
    • Match the tone of your conversation topic. For example, if you’re having a more serious discussion, it’s okay if you use a lower tone. If you’re talking about a fun topic, use a more animated voice.
11

Avoid checking your phone or watch.

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  1. Give the person you’re talking to your full, undivided attention so you can build a deeper connection. Put your phone down and do your best not to check the time since it could feel like you’re bored. Focus on what they’re saying so you clearly understand what they’re trying to say.[11]
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Tips

  • Take turns talking so you can still share your perspective without interrupting the other person.[13]
  • Practice having conversations and actively listening to other people so you can keep getting better.
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Warnings

  • Try not to make any jokes or sarcastic comments while someone is talking since it could make it seem like you aren’t taking them seriously.[14]
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About This Article

Maureen Taylor
Co-authored by:
Communications Coach
This article was co-authored by Maureen Taylor and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising. Maureen Taylor is the CEO and Founder of SNP Communications, a leadership communications company based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She has been helping leaders, founders, and innovators in all sectors hone their messaging and delivery for almost 30 years, and has worked with leaders and teams at Google, Facebook, Airbnb, SAP, Salesforce, and Spotify. This article has been viewed 28,898 times.
2 votes - 90%
Co-authors: 5
Updated: August 6, 2024
Views: 28,898
Categories: Conversation Skills
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 28,898 times.

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