How to Show a Girl You Love Her

Co-authored by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD

Last Updated: November 29, 2024 Approved

If you love a girl, it's important to let her know. But if you're too shy or nervous to say those three little words out loud, don't worry. There are many ways you can show a girl how much you care, through your actions, words and behavior, until you work up the courage to finally say the words. Here are some great suggestions on how to show a girl that you love her.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Through Romantic Gestures

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1
Send her flowers. It may seem clichéd, but nothing says "I love you" like a beautiful bunch of flowers. However, you should try to put a little effort into it - don't just pick up the first bunch that's on sale at the supermarket. Go the extra mile by finding out from friends or family what type of flowers are her favorite and have them specially delivered to her home.^{[1]
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- For added romance and to charm her, you can attach a romantic note to the flowers. It can be something short and sweet like "beautiful flowers for a beautiful girl" or something a little lengthier, like a romantic quote from a poem or song.
- If you're short on cash, don't worry. You don't need to buy the most expensive, imported flowers available. In fact, a single red rose or a freshly-picked bunch of wildflowers can be infinitely more romantic than a generic, pre-arranged bouquet.
2
Cook her favorite dinner. You can show a girl you love her by investing a little time and effort into something that will make her happy, like cooking her favorite din ner. If you've been seeing her for a while, you should have a pretty good idea of what she likes. Just don't go for anything too complicated if you've never made it before. Make the meal extra romantic by setting the table nicely, lighting some candles and playing some mood music in the background.^{[2]
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- You can choose to let her know what you're planning and tell her to dress nicely for dinner or you can take her completely by surprise - just make sure she'll be home on time and that she'll definitely come home alone!
- Don't worry if you're not a master chef, it's really the thought that counts. However, if you're worried about the food being at least edible, you can try practicing your dish on family or friends first.
- If you can't afford to take her out to a restaurant, and you don't know how to cook, ask to cook with her! Partners that do everyday things together have more fun and will be together longer.^{[3]
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3
Write her a love letter. Writing a love letter is a truly romantic way to show a girl you love her and is something she can cherish forever. This is an especially good option if you have difficulty verbalizing your feelings - all you need to do is whip out a pen and let your heart do the talking. You can give the letter to her in person or send it by mail for extra surprise factor.
- Take inspiration from the words of great writers such as Shakespeare, Lord Byron or Emily Dickinson if you have difficulty getting started, or look up some famous, romantic quotes that you can incorporate into your letter.
- You could also write her a nice email or text message, but there's nothing like snail mail for a bit of old-fashioned romance.
- Alternatively, if you want to get even more creative you could try putting your feelings into a song or a poem. You could sing the song in person or record it and send it to her if you're feeling a little shy. If you play an instrument already, even better!
4
Take her out. Take some initiative and plan out a whole romantic evening for the two of you. You could go the classic route of dinner and a movie, or you could try to personalize the experience by recreating your first date or taking her to the place where the two of you first met. The time and effort required to plan out a really special for the two of you will speak for itself and she'll know how much you care.
- Try to think about her interests rather than your own - for example, you shouldn't take her bowling if you know she'd really prefer to go ice skating.
- Try to come up with some creative ideas, based on her interests and hobbies. If she's outgoing, take her hiking or paint-balling. If she likes to have fun, take her to a theme park or arcade. If she's more into music or drama, get tickets to see a band or a play.
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Compliment her. This is an easy one. If you really love this girl it should be no problem to find 101 things you like about her and can compliment her on. You can compliment her on her appearance: whether it's something she prides herself on, like her long, shiny hair or amazing green eyes, or something that she feels self-conscious about, like her curves or crooked smile. You shouldn't just focus on her appearance though, you should also compliment her on her best personality traits or something she's done well on.^{[4]
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- For example, you could tell her that you love her kind heart and the way she's always doing things for others, or compliment her on what a great job she did at a recent sports event or on a particular homework assignment.
- Compliments should always be sincere. If you tell her something that's not true, she may be able to tell that the compliment is fake and the whole thing will backfire completely. Keep it genuine and heartfelt.
6
Surprise her. Surprises are a great way to show a girl that you've been thinking about her and that you're willing to do anything just to make her smile. You don't need to plan a massive party or buy her a puppy or anything (though these ideas may work in certain circumstances!) A surprise can be as simple as showing up at her house with a tub of ice cream and her favorite DVD when she's had a bad day, or leaving a little note in her purse or under her pillow to find when she's least expecting it.
- Some girls aren't too fond of surprises, so if you're unsure about something you're planning, try to sneakily suss out her feelings or slip her some subtle hints before you do anything too crazy.
- This step only counts if it's a good surprise - it's not advisable to show up with a tattoo of her face on your forearm or the news that you're moving to another state. These type of surprises typically don't go down so well.
7
Tell her you love her. Well, duh. If you really love this girl, the easiest, most straight-forward way to show her is just to tell her. You don't need to make a big song and dance about it, or trail a banner with the words "I love you" from an airplane, you simply need to take a moment when the two of you are sharing an intimate moment alone and say those three little words, seriously and sincerely.
- If the exact words "I love you" are a little too scary or intense, try saying something to the same effect, such as "I think I'm falling for you" or something cheesy like "you've completely stolen my heart". She'll get the idea.
- If it's your first time to say it, don't be too disheartened if she doesn't say it back right away. She may just need a little more time to process the information. Remember that "I love you" is not a question that demands an answer.
- On the other hand, she might be completely over the moon that you've finally mustered up the courage to tell her how you feel and jump at the opportunity to return the words she's been longing to hear. You'll never know until you go for it!

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Through Your Behavior

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1
Be kind. Show your girl that you love her by always being kind to her, no matter where you are or who you're with. It doesn't matter if you're the nicest guy in the world when the two of you are alone, if you're a jerk to her in front of your friends. You need to inhabit the Mr. Nice Guy persona 100% of the time.
- Being kind to your girl includes listening to her, always respecting her opinion (even if you disagree), complimenting her, never making her feel bad about herself and doing nice things for her, without needing to be asked.
- The whole "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" philosophy is completely overrated, girls want to be with guys who treat them well, especially when it comes to committed relationships.
2
Be honest. Honesty is so important when it comes to love. If you are dishonest, your girl won't be able to trust you, which doesn't bode well for your relationship. You should always tell the truth, whether it's about why you never called her last night, or admitting it was you who broke her favorite mug. She might be angry at the time, but she'll appreciate your honesty in the long-run.
- You should also be honest in terms of your feelings towards her. If you're falling in love with her, but haven't said anything about it, muster your courage and tell her. Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to emotions.
- Tackle any problems or worries you face together, don't bottle things up. That way, she'll know that you trust her. The two of you will be closer and your relationship will be stronger for it.
3
Be thoughtful. Small, thoughtful words and actions are a great way to show a girl you love her. Being thoughtful shows a girl that you listen to her and that you are considerate of her thoughts and feelings. Being thoughtful may be something that comes naturally to you, otherwise you may need to put in a little extra effort to show you care. You can do this by finding out more about her likes and dislikes and by suppressing any selfish tendencies so you can try to put her needs first.
- Some examples of ways you can be more thoughtful include: finding out how she likes her coffee (sugar, cream, etc.) and bringing her a cup in the morning or at lunch; letting her choose what movie to go and see, even if it's something you're not particularly interested in; picking up on any comments she might have made about a book she wants to read or a CD she'd like to listen to and buying it for her. You should also make an effort to remember important dates or occasions, like her birthday or the anniversary of your first date, and mark it by giving her a cupcake or a cute card.
- Being thoughtful also means being considerate of how your actions will affect her. Like if you're planning a night out with the guys and won't be able to contact her, you should let her know and tell her you'll call her in the morning. That way she won't be wondering where you are. Or if you have a lot of female friends, your should avoid flirting with them or being overly touchy-feely with them while she's around, as this might make her feel insecure.
4
Be affectionate. Being affectionate is an obvious and great way to show a girl you love her. Being affectionate includes holding her hand, giving her lots of hugs and kisses, and calling her by a pet name like "honey", "sweetheart" or something more personal to the two of you. You don't have to reserve this affectionate behavior for when the two of you are alone, you can be affectionate in public or with friends by standing or sitting near her and putting your arm around her shoulders or waist. Show the world that you're proud to be with this girl and she'll know you love her.
- You should try to be the one to initiate contact sometimes. Grab her hand when you're walking down the street or surprise her with a bear hug from behind. Little things like this can really make a girl feel special.
- Just be conscious of doing things that she might feel uncomfortable with. She may not appreciate you being all over her around her friends and family as this can make her feel awkward. Be considerate of her feelings and make sure you know where the boundaries are.
5
Be chivalrous. Prove that chivalry is not dead by acting like a gentleman towards your girl (and any other women in your life). Try opening doors for her, letting her order first at a restaurant, offering her your jacket if she's cold and waiting to make sure she gets inside okay when you drop her home. In general, you should try to make her feel both safe and respected, without being in any way condescending. Let her know that you'll always have her back and that you'll stand up for her when she needs you.^{[5]
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- Be aware that being a gentleman does not mean that you should do everything for her all the time or assume that she can't manage on her own, as she may find this disrespectful. Tell her that you love how independent she is, but that you like doing things for her from time to time.
- Being chivalrous is less about treating her like a damsel in distress and more about giving her the respect she deserves.
6
Be supportive. Try to be as encouraging and supportive as possible towards the girl you love. This means that you should encourage her goals and dreams, and not dismiss them or laugh them off as being silly or unrealistic. You should help her out whenever you can, or just be there for her when she needs you. She'll appreciate it more than you know.
- You can be supportive of her in a multitude of ways, whether it's by going to see the play she has a supporting role in, by listening to her practice the presentation she has to give at work or school, or just by giving her a shoulder to cry on when she needs to vent.^{[6]
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Be there for her. You can really show a girl you love her by being there for her whenever she needs you most. Whether she's had a fight with her best friend, didn't get the exam results she was hoping for, or is grieving for a lost loved one, your job is to be there for her and let her know that you love her no matter what. It's fine to be with her during the good times, but the true test of your love is whether you can stick it out during the bad times. Be there for her when she really needs you and she'll have no doubt about your feelings for her.
- You can be there for someone in a number of ways. You can simply give them a shoulder to cry on, boost their confidence by reminding them what a great person they are, or just take their mind of things by doing something fun with them. Try to read the situation to figure out what she needs the most.
- You can also show a girl you love her by letting her be there for you when you need it. Don't shut her out or leave her in the dark when you're going through a rough patch, let her in and share your feelings with her. She'll know that you trust her and depend on her and you'll both realize that you're stronger together.

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How can I be a romantic person?

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD

Licensed Psychologist

Expert Answer

Being romantic means going out of your way to do something unexpected for your partner.

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Tips

Every girl is different, so base your actions on her particular personality. If you really love her, you should have a good idea as to the kind of things she likes and appreciates. Ask her about her interests and get to know her so you can personalize your affection. Not all girls are into flowers or going to the movies, so pay attention to the fandoms she likes and is a part of.

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Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

Write her a romantic poem about how much you love her and why you want to be with her. Just pour your heart out and be honest about your feelings.
Ask her questions about the topics she brings up because it will show her that you're interested in what she says.

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Warnings

Whatever you do, don't be afraid to show a girl you love her. If she doesn't know or realize how much you care, you run the risk of losing her forever. Bite the bullet and put yourself out there, regardless of the consequences. You don't want to regret losing this girl just because you were too afraid to tell her how you really felt.

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If you really love a girl, stay committed to her. Ask her what she is comfortable with, and be loyal. If you give her reason to worry, or have anything to hide, it can and will turn her away from you.

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