How to Stay Sane

Co-authored by Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA

Last Updated: November 23, 2024 References

While good physical health is talked about all of the time, we often forget to look after our mental health, which allows stress, sadness, and insecurity to pile up. Rather than bottle up our negative emotions, we can take active strides to preserve our mental health and stay sane wherever we are in life.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Taking Charge of your Sanity

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Staying sane, to a large degree, is about feeling like you are in control of your life. While we cannot control everything, calmly dealing with problems and setting long-term goals will give you a sense of agency and control.^{[1]
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2
List the things that make you feel happy and safe. Staying sane is about knowing your needs and wants and feeling like you can fulfill them. While it is easy to get caught up in negative emotions, we should remember to talk about what makes us happy. Take the time to write, not just think, a list of things you love in life.^{[2]
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- Think about what relaxes you, people you love, successes you've had, what you do for fun, and locations where you feel "at home."
- Resist the urge to be critical. Just think about what makes you happy, whether it is as simple as a cupcake or as complicated as your career.
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3
Do things that you are good at. When you feel like you are on the edge, doing something you are good at reinforces your sense of self-worth and purpose. You show yourself that you are capable of creating success and controlling your life.
- Find a hobby and dedicate time to practice.
- Taking pride in yourself makes working easier and your accomplishments more fulfilling.
4
Note the situations that make you feel "insane." Whether it is being near a co-worker or grocery shopping at the end of the day, you should note the times you feel overwhelmed and avoid the situation next time it comes up.
- Taking note of these situations can help you get a better understanding of what is common to them. You can then use this awareness to be better prepared for similar situations in the future.^{[3]
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  Expert Source
  
  Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA
  Adult Counselor & Certified Hypnotherapist
  
  Expert Interview. 29 April 2020.}
- Excuse yourself from situations where you feel uncontrollable stress or worry, even if it is only briefly.
5
Recreate positive patterns in your life. If, for example, you dislike lots of noise, bright lights, and crowded spaces, you may realize that living in a city is not the right lifestyle for staying sane. On the other hand, if you feel content and comfortable when you are with your significant other, remember the importance of that connection when times are tough. Recreate the patterns that promote your sanity, and break the ones that don't.
- Approach your day from a personal perspective. Think: what do you have to do to be happy? Don't worry about what you have to do to make others happy
6
Never equate yourself with an illness. You are not an illness. Instead of saying "I'm bipolar," say "I have bipolar disorder." Instead of calling yourself "a schizophrenic," say "I have schizophrenia." By not letting a mental health disorder define you, you remain in control of your life and sanity.^{[4]
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Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals

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- Having a mental illness is not your "fault."

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Staying Calm and Sane

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1
Surround yourself with positive people. The people we hang around with have a profound impact on our mental well being. If you're in an abusive or negative group of people, or even a group that makes your stressed or anxious (like a boss, work group, or friends), separate yourself to be with people that make you feel good about yourself. Good friends:
- Are supportive.
- Don't put you down, insult you, or belittle you.
- Listen to your problems.
- Take time to play, hangout, and talk with you.
Music has been proven to reduce stress, relieve feelings of depression, and reduce anxiety.^{[5]
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Research source} In fact, the health benefits of music are even physical, as they contribute to physical health and sleep quality.^{[6]
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Research source} Find music you like and listen to it when you get stressed, such as during a commute, while working, or when you get home after a long day.
3
Learn to meditate. Meditation is one of the oldest and most effective ways to combat anxiety, depression, and psychological stress.^{[7]
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Harvard Medical School
Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public

Go to source} To meditate, simply set aside 10-15 minutes a day to consciously relax. Sit in a comfortable, upright position and focus on your breathing as you relax your body and mind.
- Meditation does not need to be a chore — even 15 minutes a day has proven health benefits.^{[8]
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4
Get outside. Being in the sunshine and fresh air has proven health benefits, from easing depression to improving your outlook on life. Go for a walk, take some photographs, or simply sit on your porch to enjoy the benefits of fresh air.
- If you live somewhere too cold to go outside, consider getting a sunlamp to compensate for the lack of daylight.
5
Exercise when you are feeling out of control. Going for a run, swimming, and biking have all been proven to lower anxiety, depression, and nervous tendencies, and not just in the short term. Exercise increase blood flow to the brains and distracts you from your problems.^{[9]
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PubMed Central
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- Do push-ups and sit-ups, watch an aerobics video, or try yoga if you can't go outside.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Promoting Good Mental Health

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1
Maintain good physical health. Time and time again, studies have shown that taking care of your body promotes strong mental health. Make sure you eat well, exercise regularly, and check in with your doctor about any problems or concerns. Interestingly, the inverse is also true, and good mental health leads to better physical performance.
- Sleep regularly, and for at least 6-7 hours a day.
- If you drink or smoke, do so in moderation. Never use substances as a crutch.^{[10]
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2
Be sociable, even when you don't feel like it. It helps to talk and laugh with people instead of being left with your own thoughts all day. Not only does being social have proven mental health benefits, it can also lead to opportunity and advancement, which many people find fulfilling.^{[11]
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- Keep in touch with old friends and family.
- Search your area for groups and meet-ups centered around your interests. For example, if you speak a foreign language, consider joining a discussion group.
- If you don't like large groups, make an effort to see a close friend once a week.
- Even working in a cafe or walking through a crowded park can expose you to other people and potential friends.
3
Have a sense of humor. It is easy to get dragged down in a sense of negativity, but laughing away accidents and misfortune is one of the best ways to stay sharp and sane. Humor can 're-set' negative events in a positive light, removing the stress and worry while finding the upside of the situation.^{[12]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

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- Laugh at yourself. While you don't want to be self-critical, you shouldn't take your life so seriously that you don't enjoy it.
- Inject humor into conversations by telling jokes or asking people "if anything funny happened to them recently."
- Gravitate towards people who like to laugh. Laughter is contagious, so join people who laugh a lot or tell jokes.
Buying "stuff" doesn't contribute to lasting life satisfaction. Experiences like vacations, family dinners, or the arts, have been shown to increase happiness, sociability, and well-being. ^{[13]
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Being charitable has a profound impact on your life as well as those in need. ^{[14]
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Research source} Get a present for someone who needs a pick-me-up, but don't expect anything physical in return. Bringing happiness to others will bring it to you as well.
6
Learn something new. Educating yourself gives a sense of fulfillment and purpose, and let's you take control of your life and sanity. By expanding your horizons, you open yourself to new opportunities for happiness, and often learn about yourself in the process.
- Enroll in an online course of at community college to help regain sanity in your career.
- Ask your friends and neighbors to teach you their favorite hobbies or crafts.
- Pick up an instrument or start making art. Learning to be creative may free your mind from the practical worries of life.
7
Keep working towards long-term goals. Write down your goals and, more importantly, write down the steps you can take to realize them. Many people feel lost when they think about the future, causing undue stress and insecurity. If you break your goals up into small, manageable tasks you will tackle them more easily. Celebrate when you hit milestones.
- If you want to become a writer, start by freewriting 30 minutes a day. Then, set a goal to write and revise one full poem or short story. Decide to start a blog after you've written 10 articles. Having these concrete benchmarks makes the end goal seem more attainable.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Avoiding a Mental Breakdown

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1
Know the signs of a mental breakdown. If you feel like life is overwhelming you and you have no other options left, you might be headed for a serious emotional or mental episode. Signs of an upcoming mental breakdown include:^{[15]
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- Violent or suicidal thoughts
- Chronic lack of concentration
- Mood swings and depression
- Lack of caring and disorder
- Feelings of intense pressure
- Extreme weight fluctuations
- Substance abuse ^{[16]
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EXPERT TIP

Lauren Urban, LCSW
Licensed Psychotherapist
Lauren Urban is a licensed psychotherapist in Brooklyn, New York, with over 13 years of therapy experience working with children, families, couples, and individuals. She received her Masters in Social Work from Hunter College in 2006, and specializes in working with the LGBTQIA community and with clients in recovery or considering recovery for drug and alcohol use.

Lauren Urban, LCSW
Licensed Psychotherapist

Don't be afraid to ask for help if you're feeling overwhelmed. Tough times, whether due to stress, anxiety, depression, or other challenges, can affect daily life. Difficult emotions are a normal part of life, and reaching out for help shows courage and self-awareness.
2
Slow down your life. More often than not, insanity comes from a feeling that you don't control your own life. When things get hectic, out of order, or stressful, take a deep-breath, slow down, and look at life in the long term.^{[17]
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Expert Source

Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA
Adult Counselor & Certified Hypnotherapist

Expert Interview. 29 April 2020.}
- Resist the urge to cram more things into your schedule, thinking that you are "missing" something.
- Return to the list of things that make you happy, and pursue them if you haven't been. It is easy to get sidetracked from your passions, but make an effort to return to them.
3
Learn how to say "no." If you are on the cusp of mental collapse, you need to be focusing on your own needs, not someone else's. Do the things you want to do, and don't be afraid to say no to commitments.^{[18]
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- If your boss needs you to work more, tell them respectfully that "you need to take care of yourself right now." If you need to speak with HR, do so.
- Don't worry about hurting your friends' feelings — they will understand if you need some time to feel better.
4
Talk about your feelings. This does not need to be with a paid therapist, it could be with a friend, spouse, or family member. If you communicate your feelings regularly then you can take control of your mental well-being and get a new perspective on your problems. Just being listened to can make us feel less alone and saner.^{[19]
X
Expert Source

Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA
Adult Counselor & Certified Hypnotherapist

Expert Interview. 29 April 2020.}
- These conversations do not have to be dramatic events. Oftentimes they feel better when they come up naturally.
- If it feels awkward at first, don't give up. Learning to talk about yourself is crucial to long-term sanity.
5
Stay calm when faced with hardship. More often than not, losing your cool will make problems bigger and tension higher. In fact, stress hormones linger in your brain for more than two hours after a confrontation. ^{[20]
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Research source} Take a breath and think about the pros and cons of losing your composure.
- Count to ten, go to a "happy place" in your brain, or just put headphones on and play a song you love. Find what helps you calm down.
6
Take a vacation. Even 5 minutes to yourself in the parking lot can put your problems in perspective and give your mind the rest it needs. While you should never run away from problems, take some time away from them to clear your head when things get crazy.
- Use your vacation time. It is built into your work for a reason, and avoiding the "rat race" is easy when you're away from home for a week.
7
If you still feel lost, confused, or unstable, talk to a professional. There is absolutely no stigma about seeing a trained psychologist or psychiatrist. If you are caught in a cycle of negativity or despair, talking to a doctor is often your best option. If you hurt your knee, you would see a doctor, so you should do the same with your brain.
- You can look up free call-lines online if you are in immediate distress.
- Most college campuses and many cities have free counseling centers where you can make an appointment.

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Tips

Find the bright side of events whenever you can to stay happy and hopeful.

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Put yourself in positive situations by surrounding yourself with people you trust.

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Smiling more often increases happiness, and invites others to be more friendly.

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Warnings

Call 911, 999, or emergency services in the case of an accident or serious episode.

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If you feel like life is not longer worth living, please get help immediately.

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