14 Dirty Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

Written by Jacqueline Hellyer | Edited by Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: October 7, 2024 Fact Checked

Do you want to spice up your love life? Dirty questions are a fun, healthy, and playful way to connect with your partner and express your sexuality.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Jacqueline Hellyer
Licensed Psychosexual Therapist

Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.} Best of all, it’s easy to talk dirty both in-person and over text. Whether you’re bored or just want to get freaky, we’ve compiled a comprehensive list of flirty, dirty, and downright sexy questions to ask your boyfriend.

This article is based on an interview with our licensed psychosexual therapist, Jacqueline Hellyer, founder of The Love Life Blog and The LoveLife Clinic. Check out the full interview here.

1

What is your favorite part of my body?

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Get his imagination going with this tantalizing question. No matter what he says, his response will get you both thinking about each other naked.^{[2]
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Research source} Later, you can flirtatiously tease each other about your responses. You could also ask:
- “If I asked you to give me a massage, where would you start?”
- “If you could touch me in one place, where would it be?”
- “Can you guess my favorite part of your body?”
- “Where on my body do you want to touch right now?”

2

Can you guess what I’m wearing—or not wearing.

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Fill his mind with dirty thoughts with one simple question. He’ll start picturing you in all sorts of risque attire—or he might just assume you’re naked. Either way, he’ll be hot for it.^{[3]
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Research source} Already asked this question? Try these instead:
- “What do you wish I were wearing right now?”
- “Can you guess what color underwear I’m wearing?”
- “Do you want me to remove an item of clothing?”

3

Would you prefer I wear lingerie or nothing at all?

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Get him to picture you scantily clad. You might even describe the lingerie you own so he has something to think about. You’ll turn him on while also finding out what he likes most in the bedroom. Similar questions you could ask include:
- “Do you like to have sex naked or with clothes on?”
- "Which piece of my lingerie is your favorite?"
- "What kind of lingerie would you buy me?"
- “Have you ever eaten edible underwear?”

4

Would you ever take a shower with me?

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Soap suds are suddenly sexy when they’re all your partner is wearing. Get him picturing you both naked in the shower. Keep the conversation going by suggesting things you could do to each other. You could also ask:
- “Where would you soap up first: my chest or my butt?”
- “Do you think we’d both fit in your bathtub?”
- “Have you ever taken a bubble bath with someone?”

5

Do you like watching me touch myself?

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Make him think about you touching yourself. He’ll for sure get hot imagining you exploring your body. As another option, you could talk about touching him. Ask things like:
- “Does it turn you on when I watch you touching yourself?”
- “Can I watch you pleasure yourself?”
- “Do you want me to touch myself?”

6

How do you want me to touch you?

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Anticipating each others’ touch can get you into the mood for sex. Sometimes, getting in the mood can feel awkward, but it’s a totally normal part of having sex.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Jacqueline Hellyer
Licensed Psychosexual Therapist

Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.} A little dirty talk will fill you both with desire. Similar questions include:
- “How do you want me to kiss you?”
- “What kind of foreplay do you like?”
- “Where do you want me to touch you?”

7

What is your favorite sexual position?

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Communicating about what you both like is important. You’ll both have a richer experience, and it makes sex about more than just “getting off.” Really connect by finding out what he likes most.^{[5]
X
Expert Source

Jacqueline Hellyer
Licensed Psychosexual Therapist

Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.} You could also ask:
- “Do you prefer giving or receiving?”
- “Do you like experimenting with sexual positions?”
- “What position have you always wanted to try with me?”
- “Are you a top or a bottom?”

8

What’s better: morning sex, afternoon delight, or nighttime sex?

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Find out what time of day he’s usually horny . It’s normal for couples—or casual partners—to feel aroused at different times. Talking about your individual preferences will help you enjoy sex more. It’s especially helpful for couples who’ve been together for a while and want to spice things up or partners who are just getting to know each other.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Jacqueline Hellyer
Licensed Psychosexual Therapist

Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.} You might also ask:
- “When do you prefer to have sex?”
- “What time of day are you most aroused?”

9

What is your dirtiest fantasy?

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Find out his sexiest desires. There’s nothing wrong with talking about your sexual fantasies or getting freaky between the sheets. Sexuality is healthy and fun, so share your deepest desires with each other.^{[7]
X
Expert Source

Jacqueline Hellyer
Licensed Psychosexual Therapist

Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.} You could also try these similar questions:
- “Do you ever think about ripping my clothes off?”
- “Do you ever fantasize about me?”
- “What would you do to me if we were together?”
- “Have you ever had a sex dream?”

10

Where is the freakiest place you’ve had sex?

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Remembering past experiences can get you both hot. Exchange stories about the weirdest or funniest places you’ve hooked up. If you’re both inexperienced, discuss the oddest places you’ve thought about sex. Other questions you could ask include:
- “Have you ever had sex outside?”
- “Have you had sex in the shower?”
- “Are you a member of the mile-high club?”

11

What public place would you like to have sex?

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Having sex in public is a common fantasy. You might not ever do it, but it’s fun to think about. Describe to each other how you think your experience having sex in public would go. Other questions you could ask include:
- “Have you ever had sex in public?”
- “If I tried to go down on you in public, would you let me?”
- “Where’s the freakiest place you want to have sex?

12

Do you have any kinks or fetishes?

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Spice up your sex life with a little experimentation. Maybe he has a secret interest in BDSM, or perhaps he’s always wanted you to tickle him with a feather. Find out what he likes and share your sexy secrets with him. Already asked this question? Try these instead:
- “What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve done?”
- “Do you want to spank me?”
- “Can I tie you up?”
- “Do you want to tie me up?”
- “Do you like to be tickled?”
- “Would you want to watch porn together?”

13

Do you own any sex toys?

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Sex toys are a fun, healthy way to spice up your sex life. At the same time, you might not know much about what your partner likes when it comes to toys. Spice up your conversation by asking him about his toy usage, and open up about yours. You could also ask:
- “What sex toy would you use on me?”
- “Can you guess which sex toy I like best?”
- “How many sex toys do you think I have?”

14

Does this feel good?

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Check in with your boyfriend during sex. When you’re having sex, it’s about connecting with your partner and creating a fun experience. Focus on each other rather than on your own sexual release. You could also ask your partner these questions:^{[8]
X
Expert Source

Jacqueline Hellyer
Licensed Psychosexual Therapist

Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.}
- “What do you hope I’ll say during sex?”
- “How do you want me to make you feel?”
- “What do you want to say to me?”

Join the Discussion...

Basic pointers how to dirty talk?

37

WikiLemmingFlyer757

I (m33) have been with my gf (f34) for 2 years now. We both want to spice things up in the bedroom a little more with some dirty talk, but neithe... Read More

WikiAntelopeKeeper764

You'll get better and more comfortable as you go, I promise. :) A good "beginner-friendly" technique is asking her what she wants you to do to he... Read More

WikiGladeJumper104

Communication is key here! Different people like different things. Talk to your partner about if there are certain names or dynamics that especia... Read More

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Ask questions based on what you’re feeling or what you like.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Jacqueline Hellyer
Licensed Psychosexual Therapist

Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.} If you enjoy being tickled, you might ask, “Where would you tickle me?”

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Dirty talk is perfectly healthy and a normal part of your sex life, so express yourself!^{[10]
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Expert Source

Jacqueline Hellyer
Licensed Psychosexual Therapist

Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.}

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Keep a list of dirty questions that you can ask your boyfriend when the mood strikes.

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