This article was co-authored by Lynda Jean and by wikiHow staff writer, Dev Murphy, MA. Lynda Jean is an Image Consultant and the Owner of Lynda Jean Image Consulting. With over 15 years of experience, Lynda specializes in color and body/style analysis, wardrobe audits, personal shopping, social and professional etiquette, and personal and business branding. She works with clients to enhance their image, self-esteem, behavior, and communication to facilitate their social and career goals. Lynda holds Bachelor degrees in Sociology and Social Work, a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work, and a Certified Image Consultant (CIC) certification. She studied Image Consulting at the International Image Institute and the International Academy of Fashion and Technology in Toronto, Canada. Lynda has taught Image Consulting courses at George Brown College in Toronto, Canada. She is the co-author of the book, “Business Success With Ease,” where she shares her knowledge about, ‘The Power of Professional Etiquette.’
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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Sometimes time can get away from you. You start thinking about someone and realize that even though you used to be close, you haven't talked to them in a while. It's totally natural to drift apart from people as you move through life, so if you miss someone and want to rekindle your relationship with them, we can help! Keep reading for our tips for reconnecting with someone you haven't talked to in a while, including what to say and what to consider, with insight from communication consultant Lynda Jean.
How to Reconnect with Someone You Haven’t Talked to in a While
- Try texting first, in case they don’t answer unexpected phone calls.
- Use a special occasion (like their birthday) as an excuse to reconnect.
- Acknowledge it’s been a while and explain your silence.
- Ask genuine questions about how they’ve been lately.
- Ask to meet up in person if the conversation goes well.
Steps
Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat do I say to someone I haven't talked to in a long time?Lynda JeanLynda Jean is an Image Consultant and the Owner of Lynda Jean Image Consulting. With over 15 years of experience, Lynda specializes in color and body/style analysis, wardrobe audits, personal shopping, social and professional etiquette, and personal and business branding. She works with clients to enhance their image, self-esteem, behavior, and communication to facilitate their social and career goals. Lynda holds Bachelor degrees in Sociology and Social Work, a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work, and a Certified Image Consultant (CIC) certification. She studied Image Consulting at the International Image Institute and the International Academy of Fashion and Technology in Toronto, Canada. Lynda has taught Image Consulting courses at George Brown College in Toronto, Canada. She is the co-author of the book, “Business Success With Ease,” where she shares her knowledge about, ‘The Power of Professional Etiquette.’
Communication ConsultantThat depends on why you stopped communicating, but in general, I would recommend you let them know you've been thinking about them. Then, ask them how they're doing. -
QuestionIs it okay to get back to the person even if he hurts me?Community AnswerYes, you can, but recognize that he may try to hurt you again.
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QuestionI'm a teenager and I lived in Colorado but now I'm in Texas and I can't get my friend to answer me. I am getting worried about her because she has mean mom and dad, what can I do?Community AnswerTry to connect with her online or else you could try to talk with your common friend to ask about her.
Tips
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If you have mutual friends, you could try initiating a group hang the first time you reconnect, as a way to diffuse some of the awkwardness.Thanks
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Go easy on yourself for losing touch. It happens to everyone! Once you’ve explained your silence and apologized, try not to stress too much about it. If you’re able to reignite your friendship with this person, just do your best not to let it fall by the wayside anymore.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/best-way-reach-out-old-friend-advice/
- ↑ Lynda Jean. Communication Consultant. Expert Interview. 17 November 2020.
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2018/08/how-to-email-someone-you-havent-talked-to-in-forever
- ↑ https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/best-way-reach-out-old-friend-advice/
- ↑ https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210623-why-its-ok-to-let-friendships-fade-out
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2018/08/how-to-email-someone-you-havent-talked-to-in-forever
- ↑ Lynda Jean. Communication Consultant. Expert Interview. 17 November 2020.
- ↑ Lynda Jean. Communication Consultant. Expert Interview. 17 November 2020.
- ↑ https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210623-why-its-ok-to-let-friendships-fade-out
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2018/08/how-to-email-someone-you-havent-talked-to-in-forever
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/202005/reaching-out-old-flames-and-former-friends
- ↑ https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/best-way-reach-out-old-friend-advice/
- ↑ Lynda Jean. Communication Consultant. Expert Interview. 17 November 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/202005/reaching-out-old-flames-and-former-friends
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/202005/reaching-out-old-flames-and-former-friends
About This Article
To call someone you haven’t talked to in a long time, start by calling at a time they’re likely to be free, such as between 6 and 9 pm on a weekday. Then, tell them who you are and remind them where they know you from, saying something like “Hi, Greg! It’s Nicole from Dartmouth.” After that, explain what made you pick up the phone, using words such as “I reread that book you gave me, and it made me think of you.” You may also want to offer an apology for being out of touch, like “I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch after the wedding.” For tips on how to leave a message for someone you haven’t talked to in a while, scroll down!
Reader Success Stories
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"I haven't talked to my friend in ages (we were super close at the time), so it was super cool. I'm gonna fight my social anxiety and speak to her again. Very scared and awkward, but 10/10, will do it again."..." more