I've been told I'm bad at kissing. Help?
I've only kissed a handful of girls and some of them have actually told me I'm a bad kisser. I feel like this is holding me back from getting more physical. And I'm getting really in my head about it. Any advice on how to improve?
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Expert Answers
A lot of people are bad at kissing when they start out, and that's okay. To get better at kissing, practice! Practice makes perfect. A basic rule for good kissing: match your partner. Whatever their movements are, mirror them, like yin and yang, the way they fit together nicely. You don't want to be doing anything that is physically uncomfortable or anything where you're not locked together in a comfortable way.
If it's uncomfortable or awkward, that's not good. Look at it like puzzle pieces. You want to fit together like a puzzle, so it's comfortable and there’s a lock; you just fit together. It should feel good. Fitting together is the basic rule for kissing well. Bad kisses will usually involve bumping into each other or your lips not locking together, just doing their own things. Try to avoid that.
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If it's uncomfortable or awkward, that's not good. Look at it like puzzle pieces. You want to fit together like a puzzle, so it's comfortable and there’s a lock; you just fit together. It should feel good. Fitting together is the basic rule for kissing well. Bad kisses will usually involve bumping into each other or your lips not locking together, just doing their own things. Try to avoid that.
I think you should at least be a little patient. I kiss some people and I think, "Damn, you were so perfect and then you gave me this awful kiss!"
When you tell them, do it in a way where you're not hurting their feelings. What I do is I use my dating coach status to teach them, when I can get away with it. Before I tell people how they can improve their kissing, I say, "I'm a dating coach. We have very different ways of kissing and we definitely need to get on the same board." For those of you who aren't dating coaches, you can still ask them, "How do you kiss?"
And then you can make a joke and you could put your mouth on their mouth and then you can make noises like, "Oh, you don't like that? Not slobbery? Alright, cool." You can teach them by making jokes, being all cute and cuddly and all that stuff. Granted, this is not a first kiss thing. This is something you might do when you've kissed a couple of times and now you want to confront the situation and feel more comfortable. First date, first kiss, just suck it up. That's it. Don't question it. It's a first kiss, get over it. But a second and third kiss, when you're getting more serious, that's when it's time to make an effort to get on the same page as the other person. Just do it in a jokey way so it doesn't hurt their feelings.
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When you tell them, do it in a way where you're not hurting their feelings. What I do is I use my dating coach status to teach them, when I can get away with it. Before I tell people how they can improve their kissing, I say, "I'm a dating coach. We have very different ways of kissing and we definitely need to get on the same board." For those of you who aren't dating coaches, you can still ask them, "How do you kiss?"
And then you can make a joke and you could put your mouth on their mouth and then you can make noises like, "Oh, you don't like that? Not slobbery? Alright, cool." You can teach them by making jokes, being all cute and cuddly and all that stuff. Granted, this is not a first kiss thing. This is something you might do when you've kissed a couple of times and now you want to confront the situation and feel more comfortable. First date, first kiss, just suck it up. That's it. Don't question it. It's a first kiss, get over it. But a second and third kiss, when you're getting more serious, that's when it's time to make an effort to get on the same page as the other person. Just do it in a jokey way so it doesn't hurt their feelings.
Reader Answers
Listen up these are the four things you need to remember:
Don't stick out your lips, but gently press them against hers.
Don't try tongue on the first kiss. Tongue is not good on the first kiss, unless she slips you a little tongue. ...
Keep your eyes closed while kissing. ...
Keep it short.
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Don't stick out your lips, but gently press them against hers.
Don't try tongue on the first kiss. Tongue is not good on the first kiss, unless she slips you a little tongue. ...
Keep your eyes closed while kissing. ...
Keep it short.
what if i'm good at kissing but i think my kisses are bad bc my gf is bad at kissing but i dont wanna tell her bc i dont wanna hurt her feelings?
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I was a bad kisser, or at least not as good as I could have been, but didn't know it. I was with one girl who changed how I kissed forever... for the better. She was great at kissing, and she never ever told me I was a bad kisser, but she guided me on how to kiss better. When I started to get out of control or do something that wasn;t pleasant, she would reign me back in and demonstrate how she wanted to be kissed. I got the message. That was many, many years ago, ever since that night, I've been told I'm an amazing kisser multiple times. So maybe try that with your gf?
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Have the people who have told you you're a bad kisser said anything about why they think you're a bad kisser? I think there are a lot of different reasons why someone could be a bad kisser. Too much tongue. Being stiff. Being limp. Using too much force. Clashing their teeth against yours. Having bad breath. Biting someone's lip if they're not into it. Sucking their mouth really hard. Making weird noises.
Next time you're close enough to someone where you can talk openly, ask them to give you honest feedback about how you can improve your kissing. Communication is key when it comes to how to kiss because every partner has a different opinion and likes different things.
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Next time you're close enough to someone where you can talk openly, ask them to give you honest feedback about how you can improve your kissing. Communication is key when it comes to how to kiss because every partner has a different opinion and likes different things.
Please don't just stick your tongue in someone's mouth and swish it around in circles!! I felt like I was kissing a washing machine.
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He/she wasn't kissing an acctual washing machine, it felt like, the person was kissing a washing machine.
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Me and my bf r at the point of a relationship to where we can french kiss, but both me and him never have before. How do I engage in it? Do I ask him or do I just leave it for the future? This is so confusing (´＿｀。)ﾞ
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How do i feel a kiss, I dont have anyone else but me and it’s complicated to find a woman especially if your in highschool
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Evryone can’t be good at everything it’s just learning just think like you should look it up it’s okay to say that you need help because you’re just gonna have to try and se how it gose
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I have some great advice don't kiss them and don't worry about kissing them if they don't like the way u kiss then they're not right for you
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I honestly think it depends on wut type of kiss it is. if u feel uncomfortable going further with kissing try kissing a doll or try to maybe try not be to intense with a kiss. start out slow with a kiss. another thing i would personally would making a circle with your index finger and thumb and put a finger in the circle and kiss that while moving ur finger in your mouth. if your hands are slobery bring it down a noche.
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Bro I've kissed 2 guys but my first kiss actually felt really nasty and harsh 😣😣😣
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Kissing should be romantic. I think some people just get a little out of hand sometimes and get to rough.
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Hold her by her waist .. ask her if she is ok.. make an eye contact... Slowly and gently kiss
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Reader Tips from How to Deal With a Bad Kisser
Don't be mean. Your partner probably knows they aren't the world's greatest kisser, but even if they don't, telling them how awful they are isn't going to solve anything. Instead, give them gentle directions on what you like. They'll improve over time.
Tell your partner that you're more into being in charge when it comes to makeout sessions. Be a little bossy. Your partner will like it and it'll make it a lot easier to navigate their not-so-great kissing skills.
Instead of going for full-blown French kissing sessions, switch to shorter, quicker kisses that don't involve as much tongue. It's a lot harder for a bad kisser to mess up kissing if the smooches are shorter.
Reader Tips from How to Practice Kissing
If you accidentally bump noses or make a similar "mistake" during your first kiss, just laugh it off. It's okay if your kiss isn't perfect--it only matters that you and your partner enjoy it. You'll likely see the little mistakes as endearing and smile about them.
Another great way to practice kissing is to hold your pointer finger and middle finger together. Then, bend both fingers at the second and third joint to create a pair of "lips." Just tilt your fingers toward your mouth and start kissing!
If you feel comfortable, deepen the kiss by wrapping your arms around your partner.
Don't forget to brush your tongue to ensure your breath is minty fresh.
Reader Tips from How to Improve Your Kissing
Use your hands! One of the worst things you can do when you're kissing is to just sit still or keep your arms at your sides. Run your fingers through your partner's hair, hold them at the small of their back, or playfully touch their neck.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with asking for feedback. If you and your partner have a good rapport and your skin is thick enough to take a bit of feedback from them, ask them what they think you should do differently.
If you're shy, close your eyes. Focus only on the sensation of the kiss and ignore everything else going on around you. You'll have a much easier time being a good kisser if you aren't distracted by other stuff.
