How to Get Your Boyfriend's Attention Sexually

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey and Dan Hickey

Last Updated: November 29, 2024 Fact Checked

It feels amazing to get sexual attention from your boyfriend, no matter how long you’ve been dating. You might be at a point in your relationship where you’re looking for new and exciting ways to make him focus on you and reignite that spark when you’re in the mood. There are a ton of fresh and easy ways to pique his interest (and other things) from subtle scents and sexy looks to naughty whispers and dirty dancing. Read on for 13 everyday moves you can make to grab your boyfriend’s attention, turn him on, and feel sexy and empowered while you do it.

1

Make seductive eye contact with him.

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Lock eyes and hold his gaze for a few seconds. Your eyes are your strongest seductive tool, and you can use them in private or when you’re both out in public to send the signal. The more intentional you are, the bigger emotional (and physical) reaction you’ll get from him.
- Throw in a wink, a raised eyebrow, or a pouty lip to make it extra clear what’s on your mind.
- If you have a signature dirty look he recognizes, go for it! He’ll love picking up on your horny bat signal.^{[1]
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- Don’t lock eyes for longer than about 10 seconds. After that point, it can start to seem a little creepy or jokey.

2

Give him flattering compliments.

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Make him feel wonderful by complimenting his physical appearance. These can be comments like what you like about his body, a certain way he moves, or his outfit or style. When men feel good about the way they look, they’re more likely to be turned on and receptive to your attempts to get his attention.^{[2]
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Research source} Try things like:
- "There’s my handsome man" when he walks into the room, or if you walk in on him changing.
- "I love the way your arms look when you do the dishes."
- "You look sexy in that new turtleneck."

3

Make him feel hot with gentle touching.

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Graze his lower back unexpectedly or run a finger down his arm. Your touches don’t have to be sexual to make him feel desired and start thinking sexy thoughts. In fact, a lot of men like being touched in romantic or platonic ways as much as they do in erotic ways.^{[3]
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Research source}Try some more playful, unexpected touches like:
- An impromptu shoulder, neck, or foot rub.
- Leaning into him when you’re sitting or standing close together.
- Grabbing his hand here and there^{[4]
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  Joshua Pompey
  Relationship Expert
  
  Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- Touching his arm^{[5]
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  Joshua Pompey
  Relationship Expert
  
  Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- A playful smack or cupping on his butt (if you have prior consent to touch him that way).

4

Use his name in conversation.

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Say his name in a loving or sexy way to grab his attention. Everybody loves the sound of their own name. Cute nicknames like “baby” or “sweetie” are nice and feel good to hear, but he’ll know you’re speaking to him on an intimate level when his name leaves your lips.^{[6]
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Research source} Try adding some seductive (but subtle) pauses around his name in everyday phrases like:
- "Bobby, you’ll never believe what I heard today."
- "And then, Derek, I saw this girl from college on the news."
- "Hey, Mark, can you come help me with this?"

5

Wear a seductive or nostalgic perfume.

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Spray a scent that reminds him of you. This can be something you wear now or a scent you wore when you first started dating. A familiar smell can stimulate a lot of different sensory reactions in him, including arousal. When he gets a whiff of your perfume, he’ll start thinking about you and all the fun you’ve had together (including in the bedroom!).
- If you’re feeling extra sneaky, spray a tiny amount of perfume on his pillow. He’ll start thinking about you before you’re even in the bedroom.
- Scents that remind him of sex, nature, or even food can help grab his attention and put sex on his mind. Try perfumes with hints of sandalwood, bergamot, rose, lavender, vanilla, cinnamon, or citrus scents.

6

Flaunt the physical features he loves about you.

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Subtly play up his favorite things about you when he’s looking your way. If he loves the way you look in your towel after a shower, let him see you when you strut out of the bathroom. If it’s your lips, “accidentally” brush them with your finger while you’re “concentrating” on something. The idea is to do what you naturally do, just on purpose and right in front of him. Some more ideas might be:
- Applying lotion to your hands, legs, or chest if he’s into those areas.
- "Fixing" your hair with a sexy hair flip.
- Modeling the new pair of jeans you bought that make your butt look good.

7

Use flirty body language to show him you’re in the mood.

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Wiggle your hips in bed or get close when you talk to him to clue him in.^{[7]
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Go to source}An extra powerful move is the “coy smile.” Tilt your head to the side while you’re standing right in front of him with open posture and flash him a small, seductive smile. This tiny move has big rewards! Other “let’s get it on” moves are:
- Sitting or standing with your feet pointing right at him.
- Mirroring his movements (for example, if he leans in to tell you something, lean in even closer to him).
- Making eye contact and then looking away to suggest you’re ready to go somewhere else with him.

8

Show him a new dance move.

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Pull out a new twirl or a hip shake next time you’re dancing with him. You don’t have to be a great dancer or learn a whole choreographed routine. One new, sensual move he’s never seen you do before is enough to grab his attention and reignite that spark he feels for you whether you’re at the club, a party, a wedding, or just dancing at home.^{[8]
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- If you want to be more direct, try doing a slow, erotic dance just for him when you’re alone together. Again, you don’t have to be a great dancer. Just move in a sensual way that feels good with some music on to get his focus on you.

9

Reminisce about when you first started dating.

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Start talking about the excitement you both felt when you first met. Eliminate distractions, like the TV or your cell phones, so you’re both wholly focused on each other. Remind him of all the fun you had together during your flirting phase, or recount your first date. His heart will start racing like it did when you first met.^{[9]
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- Another way to recreate this butterfly-in-the-stomach feeling is to do something new together. Try a new bar or take a beginners painting class—anything where you’re both the same level of inexperienced.

10

Tell him about how hot he was when you first met.

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Paint him a picture with lots of details, like where you were or what he wore. Talk about how irresistible he looked when you first laid eyes on him, or how badly you wanted to pounce on him when you were still just in your flirting phase. You can even recount the first time you hooked up or had sex (definitely don’t leave out any details here!).^{[10]
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- Give him a teasing touch or reenact the way you first walked over to talk to him to really take him back to the earliest, most sentimental moments in your relationship. Adding some physicality will let him know what you want to do when you’re done telling your story.

11

Make him (a little bit) jealous.

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Hug a guy friend or reminisce about an ex in front of him. He’ll be raring to go when he realizes that there are other guys drooling over you. A mild case of jealousy will remind him how lucky he is to have you because you’re still attractive and desirable to other men. Just be careful not to take it to far and hurt his feelings.^{[11]
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Research source} There are a million ways to make him green with envy, including:
- "Accidentally" bumping into or brushing another guy.
- Gushing over a celebrity crush.
- Taking a little bit of time to return his texts or calls.

12

Get flirty and start teasing him.

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Make sexy comments or whisper sweet, seductive nothings in his ear. Teasing and flirting make your boyfriend feel hot and desired, so tell him things like what you want to do to him later (or what you want him to do to you).^{[12]
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Research source} Teasing works best when there’s some tension involved, so rev him up at a moment where he can’t immediately whisk you away to the bedroom. Try something like:
- "I’ll have a surprise waiting for you when you’re back from work."
- "I bet I can help you unwind better than a Manhattan can."
- "If you behave at dinner tonight, I’ll give you some extra dessert when we get home."

13

Send sexts when you’re apart or in public.

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Text him your horniest jokes or a steamy photo of yourself. He’ll get the message loud and clear and hardly be able to concentrate when he knows what’s waiting for him when he gets home. Send a dirty text while you’re together in public to add even more erotic tension. Send him something like:
- "I want you to tear these clothes off me the second we get outta here"
- "Can’t wait for you to come over later. I’m feeling awfully lonely in this big bed…"
- A picture of you in that sexy pair of underwear you know he likes.

14

Initiate sexy time on your terms.

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Take control out of his hands and be the boss for the night. This is a fun and refreshing way to shake things up and explore your more dominating side. You decide where you’re going for dinner on date night, or give him teasing rules like “no touching” as tortuous foreplay. He’ll be turned on by your confidence and surrender to your commands.^{[13]
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Research source} Show you’re in control for the night by:
- Telling him exactly what you want him to do to you.
- Removing his clothes for him, as fast or slow as you like.
- Surprising him by jumping in the shower with him.

Take Your Relationship to the Next Level with this Expert Series

If you really want to drive your boyfriend crazy (in the best way) we have the perfect expert series for you. These articles will help you make sure your boyfriend is absolutely obsessed.

1

Flirt With Your Boyfriend

2

Be Flirty With Your Boyfriend at School

3

Be Playful with Your Boyfriend

4

How to Drop Hints to a Boy That You Like Him

5

12 Ways to Impress a Guy on a Date

6

Make Your Boyfriend Go Crazy over You

Expert Q&A

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How can I seduce him instantly?

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey

Relationship Expert

Expert Answer

Dress up! Pick out a sharp-looking outfit or something a little bit on the sexier side. Feel free to jazz up your hair and makeup, too.

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Tips

Only do things you’re comfortable with to grab his attention. If you’re hesitant about the more upfront or sexual options and the subtle cues aren’t working, start a conversation with him about your wants and needs when it comes to sexual attention.

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If you and your boyfriend have not had sex yet, check in with him and yourself to make sure you’re both ready to make that jump. You’ll have more fun trying to get his attention when you know you’ll both enjoy the outcome.

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