This article was reviewed by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Flamiano. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
There are 20 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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Ready to get your girlfriend to swoon over you every day? Maybe you want a cure-all because you've made a slip-up or two, or you might just want the road map to be a picture perfect partner. If you want a how-to guide that'll practically work like a love potion, we know the trick. To keep the flame alive, ignite your SO's heart, and get her to love you more, take notes—here are your cheat codes to become your girl's hero.
Things You Should Know
- Shower your girlfriend with lots of praise so she sees you as her biggest fan. Focus on inner qualities, like her work ethic or her upbeat attitude.
- Stay curious about your SO and ask questions so she knows you're really engaged. Learn about her passions, her goals, and her background.
- Respect your partner's independence and she'll appreciate that you let her thrive. When she’s out with her friends, give her space so she can fully enjoy herself.
- Boost the spontaneity in your relationship to thrill your special lady. For example, instead of your Saturday brunch, go on a random road trip to the beach.
Steps
Ways to Show Kindness, Express Love, and Improve Your Communication
Become a Better Lover with this Expert Series
Expert Q&A
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QuestionIn the beginning of our relationship, my girlfriend had so much time available, but now she doesn't. What should I do?wikiHowOur goal at wikiHow is to deliver trustworthy articles that engage our readers and meet their informational and emotional needs. For 15 years, we've committed to our step-by-step teaching model, and we continue to refine our content to create the best how-to experience on the Internet. We’ve helped millions of people solve problems, learn new skills, and feel supported in the ordinary and complex moments of life.
The most trusted how-to site on the internet.It's completely understandable that you crave more of your girlfriend's company, especially if you used to enjoy tons of quality time in the first stages of your relationship! First, check in and see what's going on in her life—she may have new responsibilities or she may be in a tough spot emotionally. If she needs any support, offer it to her and encourage her to lean on her community. Then, reassure her that you love her and that you'd like to share quality time with each other. Collaborate to find activities that fit into her schedule and match her energy level. For example, she might just want to cuddle and watch movies on the weekends. Try to make future plans to improve your bond when time frees up for her. You might be able to go on a quick getaway at some point and really recharge! -
QuestionHey there. So, I'm a girl, and I have a girlfriend who is polyamorous. Right now, she is dating 3 other people without my consent. I feel like she just ignores me and goes straight to them, What do I do?wikiHowOur goal at wikiHow is to deliver trustworthy articles that engage our readers and meet their informational and emotional needs. For 15 years, we've committed to our step-by-step teaching model, and we continue to refine our content to create the best how-to experience on the Internet. We’ve helped millions of people solve problems, learn new skills, and feel supported in the ordinary and complex moments of life.
The most trusted how-to site on the internet.It's very important for you and your girlfriend to sit down so you can talk about boundaries. Discuss the relationship styles you both have and assess if they're compatible with each other. She may be polyamorous while you are monogamous. If that's the case, ask yourself if you're willing to date someone with different romantic needs. Should you decide that you're cool with that, then tell your girlfriend your expectations. Let her know if you need to know about additional partners in advance and voice what you need to make a dynamic sustainable. Be transparent and express that you need TLC and ongoing support to feel valued. If she can't follow through with what you ask for, consider searching for a partner whose views on relationships match up with yours. Remember—you deserve to be happy! -
QuestionWhat if I don't have one?wikiHowOur goal at wikiHow is to deliver trustworthy articles that engage our readers and meet their informational and emotional needs. For 15 years, we've committed to our step-by-step teaching model, and we continue to refine our content to create the best how-to experience on the Internet. We’ve helped millions of people solve problems, learn new skills, and feel supported in the ordinary and complex moments of life.
The most trusted how-to site on the internet.If you don't have a girlfriend but you're interested in dating, then focus on self-love and self-development. Once you feel really confident and energized, search for like-minded people on apps or out in public. You might want to join a group of people with the same hobbies. Start off slow and develop rapport with anyone you're attracted to. Over time, you might experience great chemistry with someone that evolves into a relationship.
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Tips
Tips from our Readers
- Don’t overdo compliments. Give her specific compliments every once in a while to show you care about her. “You’ve the cutest face I’ve ever seen” is better than just “You’re beautiful.”
- Go out of your comfort zone (but not too far) to do things she enjoys. For example, if she loves to dance but you’re a little embarrassed, dance with her anyway.
- Some date ideas are: Going to a pottery painting shop, seeing a movie during the weekday (if you’re not too busy), and checking out nature preserves!
- Hang out with mutual friends without making them a third wheel. Have the hang outs focus on your shared friendship, instead of your relationship.
- Have little inside jokes between the two of you. Make sure you two laugh together often.
References
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/research_digest/how_to_compliment_your_partner
- ↑ https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/applying-the-5-love-languages-to-healthy-relationships/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-new-home/202209/how-you-and-your-partner-can-help-each-other-achieve-goals
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/creative-curious-questions-to-deepen-your-connection-with-your-partner
- ↑ https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/our-work/public-engagement/healthy-relationships/top-tips-building-and-maintaining-healthy-relationships
- ↑ https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/sex/intimacy-and-relationships/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/relationship-help
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2021/10/can-hobbies-actually-make-you-a-better-person
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/marriage-relationships/healthy-relationships
- ↑ https://www.uagc.edu/blog/the-psychology-behind-the-5-love-languages
- ↑ https://www.fcs.uga.edu/docs/04_CRE-F1.pdf
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/signs-of-a-healthy-relationship
- ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/relationships/healthy-relationships
- ↑ https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/5-benefits-of-healthy-relationships
- ↑ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-physiological-changes-can-explain-honeymoon-phase-relationship/
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/marriage-relationships/healthy-relationships
- ↑ LeTisha Underwood. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 14 December 2021.
- ↑ https://ifstudies.org/blog/date-your-spouse-and-stay-happily-married
- ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/self-improvement
- ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/230800303_Keeping_the_Spark_Alive
- ↑ https://www.colorado.edu/health/blog/healthy-relationships
About This Article
Reader Success Stories
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"This post has been very helpful and insightful. I knew I had to be there for my girl, but I have learned that being creative, spontaneous to decisions and accommodating to her interests can go a long way in strengthening our relationship."..." more