How to Maintain a Long Distance Friendship with Your Best Friend

Co-authored by Peggy Rios, PhD

Last Updated: August 12, 2024 References

A long-distance friendship might seem difficult to maintain if you think about it, but it's not as stressful as it might seem. In fact, there are different ways to keep the relationship between both of you steady and close. As long as you keep in touch with your best friends, distance won't be the main issue. However, the next article will give some suggestions on how you would maintain your relationship with your friends living abroad or maybe your internet friends.

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Staying in Contact

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Text your friend/s every day, or as often as possible, and ask them how are they doing. Ask questions about their life, like their school, work, or relationships. Even if they've made new friends, try to always support them by giving advice and talking about their problems. Always be there for them, and try not to ignore their texts if they text you.^{[1]
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- If you want to stay in contact with friends, you should make time for it even if you are busy.^{[2]
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- See if you are comfortable with your need to be in touch with them. For example, you do not feel you are bothering them or feel awkward in reaching out to them.
- Then give an open invitation to them to be in contact with you. For instance, you can tell them that you miss them and would like to get together with them.
- Reader Poll: We asked 344 wikiHow readers who've been in a long distance friendship, and 69% of them agreed that they like to check in with their friend every day. [Take Poll]
Ensure that you sound cheerful when they answer your call. This way they won't get bored while talking to you. Ask them about the circumstances, and listen to them when they complain about a problem, a friend, a teacher, or a crush. Help them with their work or studies, try to link them to websites that might help them in their daily work. For instance, if your best friend is a medical aspirant, remember to notify them about a new website which helps in preparations. Such actions will show them that you care for them.

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Use a variety of available technology to stay in touch. Many of us have a smartphone, computer or tablet, Skype, FaceTime, or other video chatting programs. These are some of the best ways to communicate with your friend. There are hundreds of great apps for you to use, so try to find one that works best for both of you. Do a handshake you guys did together or make a joke that'll make your friend laugh, seeing them laugh makes you happy because they are happy. Skype is also a well-known platform available for Windows and Android smartphones.In a while have a meal or snack together during the video call as if you are sitting side by side.^{[3]
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- If you're both gamers, buy the same games and make sure to play at least once a week, especially multiplayer games that can be played together as a party.
Writing a letter can be a lot more meaningful than a simple text. Don't you just love opening the mailbox and seeing a letter from your BFF? Of course, this can be done more effectively if your friend stays in your state or country, since postage can be quite expensive.^{[4]
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Show them a special place around where you live, or send a gift that will definitely put a smile on their face.
It's always fun to receive a gift from a friend, and sending someone a something special shows the person that you care about them. A present is usually something personal. It's especially important to remember celebrations and birthdays. You can also send old funny photos of you and a group of friends so you can show funny one of them looked.
Even if it's only once a year, the time you spend together will be very special and cherished.^{[5]
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Part 2

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Maintaining Your Friendship through Conversations

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Try to show interest in each other's hobbies, for example: You can show and see each others' hobbies like drawing, painting, singing, dance, poems, origami, collecting things, etc.; by sending photos or videos to each other (for we're talking about maintaining a long distance friendship)
Whether it's an event in your life, your friend's life, or something in the news, recent events are usually good to talk about, as it feels personal.
Offering help when necessary can be much appreciated.^{[6]
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Talk about things you could do together. This will keep you both positive and looking forward to the future.
Just because you're apart doesn't mean you can't still experience something together. Find a book, TV show, movie, new type of exercise, anything that you can both partake in in your respective places. It will give you something to discuss that doesn't have to do with how separate your lives can seem at times.^{[7]
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Sometimes when you are no longer with your best friend on a regular basis, you may think that things have changed. Although some have, how you talk/treat each other shouldn't change at all! You are both the same people; however, you are probably not in the same place. But, it's up to you to keep your friendship as strong, or to make it even stronger than it used to be!^{[8]
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Community Q&A

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Two of my best friends are abroad. We are guys and we are afraid to communicate often. What should I do?

Community Answer

Dont be afraid, if those are your true friends.

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Im worried that my friends that live far away from me don't like me as much, as they are busy, and that I will never see them again. What can I do?

Alittlesworld

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They probably like you just as much as ever, but now they have a whole other world they have to deal with. Just talk to them.

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My best friend moved away and she has depression. I am worried she will kill herself. What can I do?

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Email, text, or call her regularly to check up on her and make sure she's adjusting to life without you. She may need extra support for awhile, so try to be available whenever you can. You could also send her a package from home with some things to remind her of you, which might make her happy for awhile.

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Tips

You don't have to talk every day, but try to check in at least every few days or weeks. Try to set a time aside which is both, appropriate for you and your friend and make sure that neither of you misses this call (or video call).

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Try not to talk too much about how much you miss each other due to distance. Doing so could make you feel even further apart.

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Tell your friend what you want to tell them, but also listen to what they wants to say.

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Warnings

Don't expect everything to remain the same after you or they move away. Things will change but that doesn't mean they change for the worst. Just set a time-gap to contact them by if they do not message you first. Once a week, once every two weeks. Just keep in contact so they don't feel abandoned.

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Don't expect your friend to answer your message as soon as they receive them. Give them some time to come up with a reaction. If they don't message you back right away, it doesn't mean they have decided they don't want to be your friend anymore; they may be thinking of a good reply.

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Realistically, your relationship with your best friend will suffer because of the distance. This is completely normal. Best friends can not have talked for a year and then meet up, feeling like they've never been apart. Don't worry.

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Don't forget about them even if you make new friends. Update them once in awhile especially if something good or special happened to your life and you want to make your BFF a part of it or if they have been a part of it.

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This might seem hard to hear but you might want to let them go, give them space and make new friends where you are living now.

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