What to Do When He Gets Bored of You

Co-authored by Luis Congdon and Madeleine Flamiano

Last Updated: December 18, 2022 References

Do you miss your man’s company but feel like he’s a little bit distracted? Maybe he isn’t answering your texts as often or his mind seems like it’s somewhere else. Now, you wonder if he’s gotten bored of you. It’s totally normal for relationships to feel routine after a while, but luckily, there are tons of ways to add the spark to your love life again. We’ll share some tips about how to spend time apart from him and get him to notice you. Try these out to fire up your man’s curiosity and keep him wrapped around your finger.

1

Schedule lots of activities and events.

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A packed calendar tells him he has to work for your time. If he’s been busy a lot lately or his week is filling up, just brush it off. Any time you learn about a party, sport, or get-together you want to be part of, book it. You’ll have so much entertainment in your life that it will be easier to keep him off your mind. While you’re having a blast, he might wonder what you’re up to.^{[1]
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- If he does invite you out but you made plans, keep what you already scheduled. He’ll realize to give you some advance notice if he wants to hang out.
- Set your RSVPs public on social media. One day, he could run across them and learn about events you like to attend.
- In the future, he might just pop up or invite you to an activity you seem interested in.

2

Try out new, healthy habits.

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When you radiate with energy, he’ll perk up. Make sure to get plenty of sleep, jump into your favorite exercise routines, and eat nourishing food. Pour all of your focus into how to take care of yourself. If you prioritize your own wellness, you’ll show that you’re a partner with lots of good habits and motivation. More importantly, you’ll prove that all you need is yourself. He’ll feel lucky to witness you in your peak form.^{[2]
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- Take a while to respond to his texts and tell him you’ve been to the gym or out for a run.
- Read up on recipes and invite your friends over for a healthy potluck. Post pictures on social media if you want to show what you’ve been up to.

3

Make unpredictable choices.

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Picking up new habits hints that he has to get to know you all over again. If you’re really into city life and go to all the same coffee shops, try out camping. Sign up for calm nature walks if he’s used to seeing you at rock concerts. If he hears about these interesting details, he’ll feel tempted to learn what inspired you to make a change. You’ll also be able to enjoy your own adventures while keeping him hooked.^{[3]
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- If he asks what led you to switching up your decisions, focus on what drew you in and show off all your enthusiasm.
- Even if he thinks your choices are sudden and spontaneous, tell him that it’s normal for you to switch paths when inspiration strikes. You'll give him the impression that you're really creative.

4

Keep some secrets to yourself.

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Reveal certain details slowly and over time to keep him intrigued. He’s more likely to pursue more talks with you if you give open-ended answers or just tell him that he’ll have to wait to hear more. If he brings up past relationships, say you’ll walk down memory lane later. When he’s being flirty, hint that you have some pretty hot fantasies, but you’ll have to wait for the right time to share them.^{[4]
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- Talk to friends if you need to vent. That will give you the opportunity to share all your feelings and get them off your chest.
- Chat with the man you’re interested in after you’ve leaned on your support system. You’ll be able to keep a sense of mystique more easily.

5

Show your easygoing side.

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When he sees that you’re carefree, he’ll want to unwind with you. He might be taking a lot of space because he’s overwhelmed or has a lot of work to handle. If you seem perfectly fine with not texting back and forth a lot, he’s more likely to reach out with serious intentions to hang out. Keep your messages or talks positive. You’ll send the signal that you’ll be upbeat whenever he spends time with you.
- Ask him what’s new in his life and ignore how much time has gone by since you two last chatted. He’s more likely to open up and will respect how relaxed you are.
- Let him initiate the conversations until you feel he’s interested again. When he reaches out and you’re always in a good mood, your bubbliness will come across as genuine and refreshing.

6

Play up different personality traits.

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Show a new side of yourself to add excitement to his chase. Just make sure you stay true to yourself and give him a taste of your genuinely unique qualities. To make a fun little game, seduce him by teasing out parts of you he hasn’t seen before. If you’re usually into debates, listen closely to what he’s saying and agree with him more often. Take the lead and introduce him to all your friends at a party if you usually let him mingle on his own. He'll notice a change and want to uncover more of who you really are.
- Think about what you wish he knew about you. If you’re a whiz at trivia, for example, but he’s never seen you in action, innocently invite him to a game night.
- You can also consider what you already want to work on. Have you always wanted to be more silly? Crack more jokes when you’re around him.
- You can also blend traits he has seen before with a whole new goal. If he’s sure you binge-watch movies at home, you can switch to organizing a local film festival.

7

Open up about your opinions.

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Talk about your perspective in social situations so the spotlight is on you. If you’re in a room with him, pay attention to everyone else around. If anyone brings up a subject that you’re passionate about, share what you believe in. If he brings up a topic that’s important to you, speak up. Maybe you’re an advocate for animals, education, or the environment. Whatever your favorite cause is, he’ll learn that you have a lot of depth.^{[5]
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- Wait for others to pitch into the discussion and respond to their points.
- When you engage everyone in the room, he’ll see that you’re great in social situations. Plus, you’ll have more to talk about with him when you think about lots of viewpoints.
- You can also use social media as a platform to discuss what matters to you. Not only will he see what you’re outspoken about, but you can also network with people who share your views.

8

Shake up both of your routines.

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Change any patterns you two share to break the monotony for him. If you usually see each other at home and in the evenings, invite him to a chic new brunch spot. Take him to go rock climbing if you two usually bond over a meal. He’ll love that you’re taking initiative and will get the sense that you’re always full of new plans. You’ll also add some zest to your own life.
- You can also ask him how to replace your old traditions. That lets him know that you’re invested in adding excitement to your relationship.^{[6]
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- If you let him decide on new couple activities, you might learn about how he’s changed over time and what he prefers to do now.

9

Plan a date night.

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Set aside a special day that both of you look forward to. Make sure to stay flexible and open-minded. Take all the pressure off of him and focus on what would excite him. If he has a sweet tooth, stock up on new treats every week or find the best desserts in town. He’ll appreciate that you can protect the time you have together and fill it with fun.^{[7]
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- Dress up as stylish sleuths and bring him to an escape room. You’ll be able to get out of the house and put your smarts to the test.^{[8]
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- Book a vacation rental with a hot tub and soak together under the stars. Then, dry off and drink champagne in front of the fireplace.^{[9]
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- Push your limits by signing up for a fitness class neither of you have tried before. You can also sign up for a marathon and train together.^{[10]
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10

Experiment in the bedroom.

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Act out fantasies you both haven’t tried before for an unforgettable thrill. If your intimacy is becoming more routine, talk about what you two have always been curious about. Just the conversation itself will rev up his appetite. For extra points, make your most taboo or sultry dreams a reality. He’ll feel that he can always open up with you and let go of any inhibitions.^{[11]
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- You can bring up a saucy idea in an innocent setting to drive him wild. For example, you can talk about a scandalous daydream you had while you do the dishes.
- Slip into some outfits he’s never seen you in before. If you’re feeling extra daring, you can roleplay some scenarios.

11

Relive moments that brought you two together.

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Swap out boredom with nostalgia by bringing up the magic of the past. Maybe responsibilities have been piling up for both of you or you’ve been going in different directions. He might also just be distracted. Take him to the place where you both met so he can reflect on that first spark of romance. If it’s been a long time since you two have traveled, book some plane tickets again. Bring his focus back to your relationship by recreating special times he associates with you.^{[12]
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- You can also just talk about what you miss sharing as a couple. If you used to have long, heartfelt conversations, but now you just talk about chores and your to-do lists, point that out.
- If you're talking about memories or bringing him to an old spot, keep an upbeat attitude. He’ll feel warm and appreciative that put so much care into reigniting your relationship.
- Do new things together.^{[13]
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  Research source} Research shows that when couples do new activities together, they activate those parts of the brain which are active when you first fall in love.
- Boredom usually occurs due to too much routine and thinking and feeling that you know everything about each other.^{[14]
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- You can take time to ask each other new questions. It will help you discover new things about each other.^{[15]
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